Trainee Masseuse

from Makin' Tracks by The S-Bends

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lyrics

I bought some KY for your inner thigh
I heard it stops your undies chafing your chafe.
Let me apply it, it’ll be a riot.
Nothing sexual just gotta get used to it for Tafe.
I’m a trainee masseuse, dad thinks i’m a goose
rubbing foreign liquids on strangers’ flesh.
But it’s my passion, he’s so old fashion,
if your groin’s tight we’ll have a quick sesh.

Relax, I’m just rubbing my fist into your buttock.
I’m semi-pro, you could trust me with your life.

By the time it’s over the ‘Cliffs of Dover’
will be your new scent and you’ll spiritually ascend.
I’ll rearrange your aura so it’s shaped like a menorah
then hopefully you get along better with your jewish friends.
I’m not saying you’re racist, it’s just the way your moustache
naturally grows makes me feel uneasy.
I could give that a wax, Chaplin’s probably expecting it back
and finish it all off with a game of Parcheesi.

Relax, it’s not like i’m a professional Parcheesi player.
I’m semi pro, I’ll go easy on you though
the first few times.

You’ll never roll a five.

credits

from Makin' Tracks, released September 3, 2014

license

about

The S-Bends Sydney, Australia

One slip & you’re back (The Go-Betweens, Paul Kelly, The VU ‘69) but somehow still stuck in the now - a Sydney stain of expensive rent, boredom, the mist off of the Archibald Fountain, Harry’s Cafe de Wheels, cheap Jetstar flights, broken guitar strings, cracked paint, indoor plants. ... more

discography

Datsun

Nov 2019
ICU

Jan 2019
Two States

Nov 2018
Tourist Attraction

Jul 2017
Stanwell Tops

Jun 2015
(I Know) A Girl Called Jonny

Feb 2015
Makin' Tracks

Sep 2014

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